This past week has been a week of reflection for me.
|Bob as a little boy|
It is great to "hear" his voice again, in ways not heard before, after all of these years. It's a surprise to learn things about him that I didn't know. Noah is amazed by what a writer his father was!
|Mom and Dad in the 1980s|
But for my mom, this marriage continues. She has loved my dad and given her best to my dad from the age of 21 until today, at the age of 82. She continues to fulfill her marriage vows of "in sickness and in health" as well as "til death do us part."
It's difficult on a deceased loved one's birthday to know what to do or say. Is it a "happy" birthday when the person left so soon? It's difficult on an anniversary where one member is languishing and the other continues to care for this loved one to know what to do or say. Is it a "happy anniversary" when the conditions seem so sad? I realized as I reflected this past week, with some regret, that we should have made a bigger deal out of their 60th anniversary last year and celebrated my mom, even without my dad. She is an amazing wife and has loved my dad through good and bad times throughout her life.
Taking time for reflection is important. I've appreciated my drives alone up to Bob's mom in Lake City for that reflection time. Looking back in order to move forward has its place. We miss how things were...how they could be...and yet we can continue to glean from those relationships years later.