Hurry Up and Wait: Obituary for Peter Kranenburg, my father.

My father, Peter Kranenburg, passed away on Tuesday, January 7, 2025, in Holland Christian Homes in Brampton, Ontario at the age of 95.  I didn't know he was sick on Monday, but we received a call from the doctor on Tuesday morning that he was in respiratory distress and only had a few hours to live.  Michael and I quickly packed and jumped in the car for the 5.5-hour drive.  Sadly, four hours into our drive, my father passed away. 

Hurry up and wait.

In 2010, my father's forgetfulness and dementia increased significantly.  That spring my first husband, Bob Reed, died very suddenly.  My dad was at the stage of dementia at that time, and he would write things down to help him remember; every time he read his note that Bob died, he was shocked and saddened.  Eventually we had to get those notes out of his hands as it upset him.  By the fall of 2010, his short-term memory was completely gone, and he yet he didn't know it.  Care for him became difficult as he was a very strong man and didn't always like being helped to change or shower.  He joined the Holland Christian Homes memory care unit at that time.  Fast forward to 2010 and COVID, which hit these homes very hard.  Right before COVID, my Dad wasn't walking but he still knew my mom and maybe a couple of others, and his very few words were usually, "Love you, love you, love you."  COVID shut his floor down for almost 18 months and by the time we could see him again, he didn't recognize anyone, didn't respond to voices, and didn't talk.  After a while, we were pretty sure he couldn't see or hear.  It was three years of simply existing in a wheelchair, being fed pureed food, and waiting.  

Waiting to see Jesus.  Waiting to be released from his still-strong earthly body.  It was difficult to see him linger, although we are thankful that he was not suffering (as far as we could tell).  

Dementia is a terrible thing and it is very prevalent in my family.  Makes me shudder for my future.  

My dad was a "hurry up" guy.  Breakfast was always at 7 am, lunch at noon, and dinner at 5 pm.  Sharp.  We were done with our meals by 15-20 minutes later, dishes done in the next 10-15 minutes. If there was too much talking, we were told "Spraak verbote!" (Dutch for "stop talking.") The whole process was 30 minutes.  Keeping time was very important.  

Quite the irony to go from a "hurry up" man to fourteen years with dementia.

You can read more about my dad in the obituary below, but since I view this blog as part of my personal journal, I want to share a couple of things here about him that didn't make the obituary.

My dad had a difficult life in many ways.  While the Depression and World War II had an impact on him, he was likewise challenged by emotional health issues (depression and anxiety), which followed him his whole life.  He could be both controlling and insecure at the same time.  That made for lots of internal conflict, as well as external conflict, in different parts of his life.

Yet for a man who could appear to be rigid and legalistic, there was within him an artist, a gardener, and a lover of nature.  And he loved his wife and children, imperfectly of course (as is the case for every person), but we knew he loved us.

As a pastor, he preached God's love and mercy.  He was criticized because he preached too much about God's love and not enough about hell & damnation; yet he found it difficult to personally accept God's love and to forgive himself for his own failings.  

But in this past week, we spent day after day sharing and laughing together as we shared family memories.

I'm thankful for my dad, and all the many facets that made him who he was.  I will miss (and have missed) his kind eyes, soft smile, gentle teasing, and singing voice.  I'm so thankful that he has been released from his earthly body, and I look forward to meeting Peter, the man (not pastor, father, husband) one day in heaven.

Obituary: Rev. Peter Kranenburg

November 7, 1929–January 7, 2025

Peter Kranenburg, aged 95, passed away on January 7, 2025, at Faith Manor in Holland Christian Homes in Brampton, Ontario.  He is survived by his wife of 67 years, Marrie (Quartel); his children: Liz (Rob) Bronsveld, Henry (Marnie) Kranenburg, Janette (Dale) VanderVeen, Yvonne (Brian) Schenk, and Renita (Michael) Reed-Thomson, along with twenty grandchildren, and 28 great-grandchildren.  He is also survived by his brother Henk, and sisters Nel and Gon.  He is preceded in death by his parents Hendrick and Elizabeth Kranenburg, brother Adrian, sister Co, sister Bep, and son-in-law Bob Reed.

Peter, born in Leiden, the Netherlands on November 7, 1929, immigrated to Canada after World War II at the age of 18, in order to go to Calvin Seminary.  He was ordained as a pastor in the Christian Reformed Church in 1957 and served in the following churches in Ontario, Alberta, and British Columbia:  Athens CRC, Westside Community Church Springdale, Ebenezer CRC Jarvis, First CRC Red Deer, Ladner CRC, Strathroy East CRC, Second Toronto CRC, and Grace CRC Chatham. Peter then served as a Chaplain in Queen Elizabeth Hospital and at Holland Christian Homes until his retirement. Peter loved his Lord and Savior, and it gave him joy to share about the love and forgiveness of Jesus.  He continued to do this work, even after his retirement, by corresponding with prisoners. 

Peter was a man of many talents.  He had a beautiful singing voice; he was an artist, painting in oil, acrylic, and watercolors; he loved to garden and excelled at growing vegetables and flowers of many types but had a special love for orchids.