Flesh Eating Bacteria

This is not a feel-good blog but may be more of a rough read...so don't read on if you are looking for something positive and upbeat this Monday morning.  I don't think I write a lot of, "Somebody call the waaaaaaaambulance" blogs....but this is definitely one.

Last week was a rough week for me - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Flesh eating bacteria literally entered my body, but also seemed to enter figuratively, into my soul, my emotions, and my mind.

The week started with the opportunity to meet with old and dear friends, long-time supporters who have "had my back" since 1997.  Toward the end of our meeting, they informed me that they would no longer be able to support me as much, as I was becoming "too evangelical" because I am working with the church.  That hit me hard. When I examine the word, evangelical, it means "pertaining to or keeping to the gospel and its teachings."  Doesn't seem like such a bad thing to me.  Just last week I met with a pastor from the Reformed Church of Zambia who shared with me that the Church in Zambia is telling their business people terrible things about the nature of their work and how unholy it is.  That is not "keeping to the gospel and its teachings" so I am happy to be "evangelical" in that way.  My fear, and where the flesh eating bacteria begin to enter into my mind and emotions, is that "evangelical" is lumped with "fundamentalism"  and because I am adamant that the church needs to be the change agent as it relates to business, I could be cast as a fundamentalist, which is definitely an insult in this day and age.

On Tuesday and Wednesday, I began to feel ill with fever, body aches, etc.  By Thursday morning, I woke up with a completely swollen ear and surrounding tissues, hot to the touch.  When I went to the doctor, I was told it was a serious type of cellulitis and because it was on the face, it needed to be monitored closely, as it can quickly become life-threatening.  It is caused by a flesh eating bacteria that can go both deep and wide - causing permanent damage to the eyes, nerves, brain, and other precious parts.  If it was to spread at all, I was to go directly to the emergency room.  Hannah took Thursday afternoon off to monitor me; Michael took Friday off.  They marked my face with permanent marker to be able to observe any spreading or other symptoms.

Also on Thursday, I received a number of bad news emails from ICM, ranging from partners in a number of countries very sick and in need of resources, to significant budget and fundraising alarms, to program demands that are increasing beyond supplies.  The flesh eating bacteria went after my mind, "See you can't do this job."  "See, you can't raise money - people are leaving you, not joining you." "See how many people are looking to ICM and to you - good, serious people with serious medical issues - and you can't do anything."

On Friday morning, I had to return to the doctor who didn't like what he saw in terms of lack of progress, and decided to give me a shot to try to keep me out of the hospital.  Later that afternoon, I received an email from the publisher with whom I had been talking for some time - the one I was hoping would take my book; they reported that they decided to pass on my book.  I immediately felt the spread of the flesh eating bacteria in my soul, with whispers of "see, you can't write" and "see, no one wants your book - no-one sees the value except you, therefore it must not have value."

On Friday evening, we had a serious blow up at our house.  Not uncommon in a small home with two merging families of many young adults, not to mention tremendously complex extenuating circumstances that are mostly outside of our control, making us often feel like victims.

But that was enough to pretty much shut me down.  The straw that broke the camel's back.  Let the flesh eating bacteria have their way.

Saturday found me searching the want ads, looking for a different line of work, despite the fact that my face was beginning to heal. My thoughts were, "Let me find a job where I do my work, get a paycheck, and go home.  Let me find a job where there aren't so many people depending on me.  Let me find a job where I don't have to constantly think of how to fund the work, on top of doing the work, which is actually difficult to do." An overreaction?  Absolutely.  But an indication of flesh eating bacteria having found their way into my system?  Yup.

As I cried out to God on Saturday night, peace didn't come like a river attending to my soul.  I didn't wake up Sunday morning saying, "It is well."  I was reminded that we will have earthly troubles; that we are to endure hardship for His sake; that suffering is often not meaningless; that "my will" needs to become "Thy will;" and that God will "never give us more than we can bear."  All of these words felt cerebral; none seemed to address the flesh wounds.

And so it's Sunday morning as I write this.  And I am choosing to stay in bed, write this blog, and lick my wounds.  I am praying that tomorrow will show a ray of light in some way to give me the energy to put one foot in front of the other again, and rekindle my energy for the work to which God has called me.  If you got this far in reading this blog, I would appreciate prayers, as I believe that much of this is spiritual warfare.  I also know, in my head, that I am immensely blessed, beyond words.  But beyond privilege and blessings, all humans can be knocked down for a count; I know that what matters is that we don't stay down.
 
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Postscript - I didn't see my regular doctor on Thursday but actually had a doctor who grew up in Nigeria as an missionary kid.  We got to talking, and she is the first person who told me that it IS possible for sepsis to not produce a fever (as in the case with Bob).  As I read about flesh-eating bacteria, and remembering the number of sores that Bob has on his head the night before he died, and having just returned from Nigeria, I am now thinking that we might have a possible cause of death:  necrotizing fasciitis that got into the bloodstream, causing sepsis.  Five years later and I continue to look for the cause of death.  This one seems to get a lot of it right.  http://www.sepsisalliance.org/sepsis_and/necrotizing_fasciitis/.  I still wonder about the shot of heparin that they gave him just twenty minutes before he died when they "thought" they heard a pulmonary embolism.  I wonder if that shot expedited something in relation to the septic shock that his body must have been in (based on autopsy results).  My reading does show that heparin can react poorly with antibiotics, which is what they had put him on when he entered the hospital.  I wonder, I wonder, I wonder....I will probably wonder until I die.

Sodom and Gomorrah

A picture from the place called "Sodom and Gomorrah"

There is a place in Ghana called Sodom and Gomorrah.  It is a location where approximately 40,000 people live in dire conditions.  Bob first wrote about this place in a blogpost in 2009 when the Ghanaian government threatened to plow it down (great piece if you want to read it - "This may sting a bit.").  They are threatening again because of the recent deaths in Ghana, which is blamed on the flooding caused by trash from this location.

I have often wondered about the name given to this depressed area.  Ezekiel 16:49 seems to make it very clear what the sin of Sodom was:  "'Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy."  Doesn't sound like a place impoverished by poverty, disease, and no sanitation to me.  Sounds to me like...well...like other places in the world that are quite developed.

June 26, 2015 was a day of terror in many parts of the world.  Syria lost 120 lives due to IS.  Kuwait had a bomb go off with IS claiming responsibility.  Tunisia lost lives, believed to be linked to IS.  Somalia lost lives due to al-Shabab.  France lost lives due to terrorism.  IS spokesmen have called for an intensification of attacks during Ramadan and to spread beyond Syria and Iraq. So many people in so many countries living lives of inescapable hardship, oppression, fear, and anxiety.

And yet it is summer vacation in many parts of the world.  A time for family and cottages and vacations and play and fun and food.  And while I love a good vacation as much as the next person, I am struck by the lack of opportunity for any vacation by the majority world.  Ever.  Ever ever.  Ever ever ever.  

I just returned from a trip to Ghana, Kenya, and Egypt. Ghana which was touted as a great place for development but has been struggling so in the past few years with a currency that is crashing and electricity that is off more than on.  

Kenya has seen the Kenyan shilling falling significantly against the dollar - lower than it has been in many years; al-Shabab continues to threaten; tax rates are oppressively high; and significant poverty continues to be a problem for so many.

And Egypt, where being a Christian is met with outright hostility; where the pressures and stresses of life are palpable and dark.

So it's no wonder that on the day that I re-enter a world that is "on vacation," it feels heavy and I can't sleep.  Ezekiel 16 plays in my mind, "arrogant, overfed and unconcerned."  How I don't want that to be the label for the era in which I live.  

There is serious work to be done by the Church.  Our battle is so far from over.  Yes, we must pace ourselves and enjoy the "tithe of feasts" with family and friends (Deuteronomy 12).  But let us not label depressed places with dark names, like Sodom and Gomorrah; let us not forget that the majority world never gets a vacation and being able to take one is an absolute privilege; let us be stewardly with the blessings that we enjoy, and be wise with how we justify how much of our resources we keep and how much we give away; and let us not forget that many of our brothers and sisters around the world are in a battle for survival, for their faith, and for their family in a way that the majority of North Americans will never truly know or understand. 

More Confirmation...Amidst Challenges

Of the three countries where Discipling Marketplace Leaders is working, Ghana is the safest as it relates to terrorist attacks.  Ghana rates at 56 out of 162 countries on the Global Peace Index (Canada is 5, the US is 95, Egypt is 123, and Kenya is 140).

On the Ease of Doing Business (World Bank, 2014), Ghana ranks at 67 out of 189 countries measured (the US is 4, Canada is 19, Egypt is 128, Kenya is 129).  On the human development index, Ghana ranks at 138 out of 187 countries measured (the US is 4, Canada is 8, Egypt is 110, and Kenya is 147).

As it relates to religion, Ghana is 71% Christian, 22% Muslim, and 7% other (Egypt is 90% Muslim and 10% Christian; Kenya is 82% Christian, 11% Muslim, and 7% other; US is 71% Christian, 23% no religion, Judaism 3%, Islam 1%, 2% other; Canada is 67% Christian, 24% no religion, 3% Islam and 6% other).

That is a lot of numbers that tell a portion of the story - but of course, not the whole story.

The beautiful mountains on our way to Abetefi, Ghana.

Part of the story is that in the last three years (since we left in 2012), Ghana has undergone significant challenges.  It has been quite startling to see, to be honest.  Electricity, which was bad when we lived here, has now gone to being on for twelve hours, and then off for twenty-four hours.  This is incredibly debilitating for businesses.  So everyone is switching to generators.  However, the Ghana cedi has also done very poorly against the US dollar.  When we moved to Ghana in 2009, it was $1: 1.5 GH.  Today it is $1: 4.3 GH.  That means that all prices have increased at least three times.  When we lived here, we could fill our car for 50 GH.  Today, the same car, the same amount of gas, it will take 150 GH.  Yet, incomes have not increased.  Purchasing power has only decreased.  So running a generator is a huge expense for businesses; one small business told me that they are paying 1000 GH per week in gasoline for the generator.  And generators are not safe.  We passed by one which caught fire, threatening all the businesses in the area. 

Ramseyer Training Center, Presbyterian Church, Abetifi

And so the economy is struggling. And when the economy struggles significantly, poverty increases and peace decreases.

When I shared about the work of Discipling Marketplace Leaders with business people, pastors, church leaders, and Bible colleges, the response was a unanimous "Amen" and "When can we start?"  I heard comments like, "We have been praying for something like this," and "This could transform our nation." 

I can only sense again that God had been working in this area prior to our arrival and directed us to the right people.  We will most likely start in September with the Ramseyer Training Center in Abetifi (central Ghana), where 4000+ Presbyterian pastors are trained for ministry, as well as in Accra at the ICM Ghana office for multiple denominations.  (Egypt will now be in November due to additional time to translate materials into Arabic.)

Pastors, Administrators, and Pastors-in-training

I continue to be humbled and thankful at the response that we continue to see to this work.  Keeping up with demand will be a challenge and we will continue to work toward building a team of Master trainers who can go out to help deliver this opportunity to different countries, through many denominations. I am so thankful for our partners, ICM Ghana and Hopeline Institute, as they have great staff who will make setting this up in Ghana much easier.

Please continue to pray for people in Ghana and their economic challenges.  Please also pray for this growing ministry.  Pray for God to send trainers, the funds to translate these into the necessary languages, and for wisdom and discernment in each and every process and conversation.

I leave for home on Wednesday.  I must admit that I'm exhausted.  I didn't feel well for most of this trip and I think it was the constant travel, speaking, changes in climate, changes in food, changes in beds, etc.  I am very ready to be home again but very thankful for your prayers and partnerships in this endeavor of Discipling Marketplace Leaders!