Graduation and Flying Home

On Thursday evening, Hannah graduated from high school.  She was selected to be valedictorian as she had maintained her 4.0 grade point average throughout her junior and senior year.  The theme of her speech was a quote from Jonathan Swift, who stated, "May you live all the days of your life."  She did a great job.  Here are a few pictures, followed by a slideshow that I put together of pictures from babyhood to graduation.  The song on the slideshow is from Mark Harris, "Find Your Wings."

On Sunday evening, Hannah will say goodbye to West Africa, her home for the past six years, and embark on a new adventure.  It is definitely bittersweet for her.  We will be arriving in Grand Rapids on Monday and hope to see those of you who partner with us in the US and Canada very soon!

As a reminder, if you are in the Grand Rapids area, you are welcome to drop by 2135 Francis SE on Saturday, June 18 from 2-4 pm for food and cake to celebrate with us and to allow us to thank you for your part in Hannah's life.  She has made it this far by the grace of God, with many prayers, words of encouragement, and lots of love from many of you! (Please, no gifts.  Just hugs!)

I love this picture...but you really had to be there.  I didn't tell them to get close or Noah to put his arm around Hannah.  But they are such good friends and Noah showed such care for Hannah that day, it was so touching. 

The six graduating seniors, prior to the ceremony.

And after.

After the open house, Hannah and her friends did the traditional burning of notes from the past year.  After saying goodbye to many friends, this was very therapeutic for Hannah.  It went on well into the night.

A particular favorite subject to burn was physics!

West Africa Regional Team

Fanny Atta-Peters and Jeremiah Yongo

A few months ago, I wrote a brief political and work update from the four countries in West Africa with whom Partners Worldwide works.  One of my goals in this past year has been to build more of a team in the region, despite different languages, nations, and cultures.  In many respects, each partnership with whom we work is very unique - one of the things Partners Worldwide prides itself on is not having "cookie-cutter" partnerships, allowing a lot of freedom, flexibility, and context to enter into each partnership.  While this is necessary and prudent, it is also true that there are a number of underlying commonalities in the work that we do in these countries to fight poverty and grow the Kingdom of God through Kingdom businesses.  In West Africa, despite the many differences, there is a "West African culture" with many similarities in challenges, due to similar land, climate, and histories. It's not unusual in this work to feel alone,like you are fighting an uphill battle.  Hearing from others who are sharing the same experiences, discussing best practices, and encouraging and praying for each other as leaders is very important.

In this past year, we have grown this team spirit through monthly phone calls, a face to face visit at the Partners Worldwide conference in October, another face to face visit at the conference in Liberia in February, and one-on-one visits of the affiliate leaders to our partner country programs.  Most recently Jeremiah Yongo was able to visit both Liberia and Ghana on a learning visit, as he was not able to join us in Liberia in February.  He wrote me an email that shared some of his observations and learnings in that trip. 

A Muslim VSLA group in Madina, Greater Accra.

 I noted with great delight how well members of the Hopeline VSLAs (Village Savings and Loan Associations) work across religions and tribal lines.  This harmonius working relationship is a testimony and ministry in itself.  One of the VSLA groups is made of Muslims and Christians, and the members of that group work well together.  Muslim members of the grouup even compromised a bit in setting up their constitution, just to accommodate the Christians.  I will be sharing about this harmonious relationship as I meet with our affiliates here in Nigeria.  As you are well aware, religious and racial tensions sometimes run very high in Nigeria.

Both Hopeline (Ghana) and LEAD (Liberia) have benefited in terms of organizational capacity development from other partnerships in addition to their relationship with Partners Worldwide (e.g. USADF, Barclays Bank, etc.).

With one of Hopeline's SME clients, we debate the dilemma of poultry farming in West Africa

There are strong views in the Micro-finance world about what works and does not work.  It is gratifying to see that the right mix of training and access to capital can work.  During my trip to Ghana and Liberia, I was encouraged to be persistent, patient, and confident in our work in Nigeria, even when results do not come as soon as expected. Both Fanny (Hopeline, Ghana) and Allen (LEAD, Liberia) shared with me about the challenges they had at the initial stage as they rolled out their programmes.  

Education plays a fundamental role in development.  Due to their educational system, the workmanship of Ghanaian artisans is better than that of their Nigerian or Liberian counterparts.  (Is there any possibility of capacity building here?  For example, masonry, carpentry cross training, mentoring?)

Sustainable results speak for themselves.  In the midst of screaming adverts about 36 hour and 48 hour loans from some Ghanaian Institutions, the more tedious programs and loan requirements of Hopeline Institute continue to draw clients.  

I am very thankful for Jeremiah's observations and the opportunities that our West Africa team has had in this past year.  In July, we hope to send a staff person from Hopeline Institute to Liberia to train the LEAD staff on the VSLA methodology.  In August, I hope that Fanny, Allen, and Jeremiah will be able to attend the Partners Worldwide Conference in East Africa and I'm working now to raise enough funds to help them get there. In October, we hope to invite Tinashe Chitambira, from our partnership with Africa Works in Southern Africa to West Africa to teach us more about the models that they use in Swaziland and Mozambique to build farm co-ops for crops and poultry farmers.  To all of you who have helped make these learning trips possible, we thank you and ask that you continue to pray for these leaders as they lead these initiatives in their countries.

While we share a number of best practices, we also share the "worst practices" or things that don't work.  This picture of our intern, Brett Pfister, in Liberia is a case in point of things not to do in West Africa...don't drive a motorcycle with four passengers.  Kids, don't try this at home!

Italia - by Hannah

My entire life, I have wanted to visit Italy.  Something about it just drew me.  The beauty, culture, history, language… everything just drew me in.  Well, my fellow seniors and I worked all year, fundraising and fundraising and fundraising, to raise enough money to go to Rome, Italy.  Thanks to help financially from parents, to the chaperones for helping out, and to the hard work of the seniors, we actually got to go to Rome.  It was a dream come true.  We left for Rome on the 2^nd of May (Monday) and stayed until early on the 9^th (Monday).  It was a blast. 

The Seniors: (left to right) Christian, Abena, Setor, me, Samantha.  David took the picture. 

             

Pictures do not do justice to the Colosseum.  Huge and breathtaking.

On the first day in Rome, we saw the Colosseum and the Roman Forum.  Upon seeing the Colosseum, I fell in love with it.  It is absolutely breathtaking.  There are so many stories, so much history, and so many years in the Colosseum, as well as its size.  It is enormous.  On day two, we walked a lot, all over Rome.  We saw the Spanish Steps, the Trevi Fountain and the Pantheon.  Walking up the Spanish steps, you get an incredible view of Rome.  Seeing the Trevi Fountain was again breathtaking.  To imagine that people carved this marble by hand and with no instruction manual and it came out looking so huge and so realistic was awe-inspiring.  The legend goes, if you toss one coin in to the Fountain you will come back to Italy, if you toss another in you will find love, and if you toss a third in you will get married.  My plan was to toss only one in, but then Mr. Crosby (the Director of AIS and a chaperone on the trip) didn’t get a picture and had me throw another in.  I’m not looking for love, not even a little, but now I guess I’m going to find it :-).  

The Trevi Fountain.  Huge.  And very beautiful.

 On Saturday, we visited Vatican City, went on a tour of the Museum, saw the Sistine Chapel, and visited St. Peter’s Basilica.  The Sistine Chapel was beautiful and the Museum was filled with sculptures and paintings with fascinating stories behind them.  For example, in the middle of the famous square of the Vatican, where crowds gather to see the Pope, there stands a huge monument, a tower.  This tower is hundreds of years old.  When discovered, the Pope had it brought to the square.  Since the tower is made of solid stone, it took hundreds of men with ropes to lift it to a standing position.  The Pope ordered absolute silence in the audience for fear that if the men got distracted, this relic would come crashing down and be destroyed.  The penalty for speaking was death.  As the men began lifting the tower, the ropes begin breaking because it was so very heavy.  A fisherman in the back of the crowd realizes the problem and has the solution, so he risks his life, breaks the speaking ban, and yells “Wet the ropes!” knowing that this would reduce friction and allow the ropes to hold together.  This saves the statue.  After the tower is safely in place, the Pope approaches the man who spoke.  Believing that now he would surely be punished, he prepares to accept whatever punishment the Pope has for him.  However, the Pope thanks him for the advice that saved the monument.  The Pope tells the man that whatever he wanted would be his.  The fisherman’s response? (I’m paraphrasing of course)  “I live in a small town with an abundance of palm trees.  It would greatly honor my village if, this year, the palm branches for Palm Sunday be cut from my village.”  And his request was honored.  As a matter of fact, it is honored to this day.  Every year since, palm branches for the celebration have been used from that fisherman’s village.  This was just one of many fascinating stories of the origins and backgrounds of different statues and monuments throughout the Vatican.  

St. Peter's Basilica.  The tall tower on the right with a cross is from the legend of the fisherman.

 On our trip, we also saw the Mouth of Truth (another fascinating legend, but for sake of space, you should probably look it up yourself) and many other buildings, fountains, and structures that are very old and very beautiful.

Cleaning up after the first day at the soup kitchen.

Also, to go on the trip, we had to incorporate a service project into the week.  So for two days, us 6 seniors and the two chaperones volunteered at a soup kitchen.  We worked by signing people in, handing out food, cleaning tables and serving those who came through.  I worked cleaning tables and refilling water jugs and, when the patrons could speak English, conversing with many of the hundreds who came through.  It was hard work, but also nice to see a different part of Rome, to hear Italian (a language I love and hope to learn fluently at some point in my life) and speak to many different people from different walks of life. 

 

 If you ask me my favorite part, I quickly respond “The Colosseum or the gelato”.  Gelato is Italian ice cream.  It is incredible.  As a group, we had some every single day, often more than once a day.  The food was amazing.  The trip was everything that I have hoped about Italy.  Experiencing it with the awesome people in my class was so much fun.  I am so incredibly thankful for that opportunity, and it will be something I never will forget.

Abena, Miss Kershner (one of the chaperones), and I with gelato!!

Inside the Colosseum.  The sandy colored flooring shows what the floor would have looked like back when it was a center of entertainment for many Romans.  

Isn't this carving beautiful?  Only one problem though.  It's not a carving. This is actually a completely flat painting on the ceiling of a room in the Vatican.  The artists used light and dark paint to create the illusion of depth.  They were quite skilled, don't you think?

These "Roman soldiers" are found in various tourist locations throughout Rome.  This one is proposing to Abena, saying they should run away together.  Next to Abena is Setor, who the soldier threatened to beat up, mistaking him for Abena's boyfriend.  It was highly amusing for the rest of us.

Me, with my hand in the Mouth of Truth.  The legend is that the mouth used to close on the hand of anyone who told a lie while their hand was in the Mouth.  The story goes with it is long, but very interesting.  So, I recommend you look it up when you get a chance. 

We didn't spend much time here, but this is the Pantheon.  It was HUGE.  Each pillar weighs 60 tons.  It was enormous and very beautiful.  Very old as well.

From left to right:  Abena, Samantha, and Mr. Crosby.  We were on the metro, the Roman subway, which we took to the city every day since our hostel was about 45 minutes by car outside of the city.

Inside the Vatican. This statue, though lacking a head, arms, and missing most of its legs, so inspired Michelangelo that he took it and kept it in his office for two years, studying it.

My good friend, David and I.

Our Faith is Gone

Faith - note the position of the tail - almost always like that.

Sorry, folks.  Couldn't resist that title.  Actually, Noah's friend, Armand, suggested it for this blog.  The good news is that our faith in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, is not gone and remains strong.  Our faith in our dog, Faith, however has been wavering for some time and resulted in her leaving for another home last week.  As a reminder, Bob got Faith when we thought that Dusty was dying; Bob worked really hard to save Dusty, and she ended up surviving, leaving us with three dogs instead of the preferred two.  However, Dusty and Faith did not get along - Dusty was always fighting with Faith, and in the end it wasn't a nice life for Faith.  So we hope she is happy now in her new home.

Hannah at the Spanish Steps in Rome.

Hannah has returned from Italy and had a great time.  She now wants to learn Italian and live in Rome for a year - at some point in the future.  She is dealing with a serious case of senioritis as she deals with her last few weeks of school, while her peers in the US are almost done with school already or are given the option to not do exams if they have good grades.  She is not given that option and has to go until June 9.  But with graduation, open houses, summer job, and Calvin College all coming up, she has a lot to look forward to.

Noah has to be reminded that he doesn't have the right to senioritis yet and has to wait until next year, although there does seem to be somewhat of a contagious aspect to this ailment.  He took his SAT last week, was accepted to the Summer Academy at Calvin College for the summer, and is looking forward to getting to the States for a few weeks, to have some down time as well as have consistent electricity and water for a while.

As for me, I have realized that, according to Aesop's Fable,  I am more of a hare than a tortoise.  After Bob's death last year (which was seven months following the stress of a new position and a move to a new country), I told myself that the first year of grief was the hardest and I needed to survive that first year.  Which I did.  I survived - I continued in my job, continued living apart from family and friends, continued living in a foreign land, and continued parenting.  Once I passed that first year, I was then left with the question of, "What now?"  What is my next goal?  Surviving is not enough - how do I live?  I've now been told that for some the second year is the most difficult, for others the fourth, others the sixth, and so on.  So I'm looking forward to getting back to the States, having a silent retreat, and going to some grief groups with other widows and widowers who can help me "normalize" what I'm going through.

In the meantime, this week we will be hosting Jeremiah Yongo, the Partnership Manager for Partners Worldwide from Nigeria, who will be here on a learning trip and then will be traveling to Liberia to spend some time with LEAD as well.  Last week, we hosted groups from Grand Valley State University as well as the University of Indianapolis, so the work, the dialogue, the challenge, and the message continues on. 

Blessings to you all this week.

Bummed Out AND Burned Out

Hi Folks,

A few of you have asked how I'm doing since announcing in March about being depressed and wanting to take a few weeks off from writing the blog.  I haven't wanted to write about it but since I'm about to take more time off from the blog, I now believe that I must - that I owe it to you. 

I have realized that the exhaustion and the depression that I was experiencing was not just related to tiredness and the one-year anniversary of Bob's death, but was (is) burnout.  I hate to admit that because I've always believed that burnout is not responsible.  We have a responsibility to our calling and a responsibility to protect it so that we can keep at it.  Bob and I have been at this work since 1997 and we worked hard at not getting burned out because we knew it wouldn't be helpful to anyone.

[I know what some of you are thinking - that I'm being too hard on myself by saying that.  Some of you told me that after I acknowledged that I let myself get too busy.  But the truth is, by owning responsibility, I am also able to own the solution.  If I am a victim to what other people put on me or to my circumstances, it is no longer in my control.  So it is actually healthy for me to own it.]

I can excuse this through several justifications - Bob's death and the grieving process, the lack of a partner to help watch over me and protect me from myself and the "tyranny of the urgent," the fact that many widows experience a significant health event in the first year of their husband's death, etc. But it doesn't matter at this point how I got here - it is what it is and I need to work my way out.

I'm rereading a book by Os Guinness, The Call, where the author states, "Our calling is the sphere of our responsibility.  But we are not responsible to our calling.  We are responsible to God, and our calling is where we exercise that responsibility."  I still believe I am called to this work - that has not changed.  For me, the growing process is now to figure out how to do this responsibly, by myself.

I have tried again to write the blog over the last couple of weeks but it's not coming naturally.  I said to the kids yesterday that I have no idea how I wrote the blog every week for the last year - but actually, writing it was helpful for me and it came naturally.  So, I'm going to take more time off again from writing the blog.  I'll write when I have something I want to share but if you don't hear from me, know that I'm still working through this and am busy fanning the flame of the small coal that still has fire in it. 

Thank you for your continued support, prayers, encouragement, and faithful reading. 

Brief Work Update and Birthdays

Weather:  We have had three significant rain falls in the last week, which have been great.  Along with the much needed rain comes cooler temperatures, great wind, and a break from sweating. 

It's been a while since I gave you a general update on the work that is happening in our partnerships.  Allow me to give just a brief overview, and then I hope to bring more specific stories over the next couple of months.

Liberia:  LEAD has been engaged in several new projects since I last wrote about them.  They are:

Beginning work at research farm

• Research Farm - LEAD has begun planting, building and planning for a 25 acre research farm in Nimba County, in the North of Liberia.  This farm will be a place where new crops, new opportunities, new methods, and new technologies will be researched and then moved out to farmers who are interested and willing to engage. LEAD already works with over 60 farmers and the needs in Liberia for agriculture improvement is significant.  Things like irrigation techniques (currently farming only occurs during the rainy season), composting, higher yield seeds, hoop houses, and many more ideas are being brought to this research farm.  New ideas to Liberia, like mushrooms, snail farming, high quality maize, ground hogs, and others are making their way into the plans for this farm.  It is exciting and so full of potential.  Brett Pfister, our intern, from Indiana, is working hard with the LEAD staff to get this going.
• Capital project - After two years of having seven plus LEAD staff members in a office that is 15 x 20 feet, LEAD is finally going to build an office building and has secured the land for this project.  We are 6/10ths of the way to our fundraising goal so far!  The project will also have some space to rent, so it is an income generating project as well to help LEAD reach sustainability.
• In a partnership with a Canadian NGO, called Hope for the Nations, LEAD has begun bringing business training and Business as a Mission to a local high school in Nimba County, training 17 students in how to run a business.  These students will be given a small loan to work for the remainder of the semester (which goes until the end of July), while getting ongoing support from LEAD staff in managing their businesses.  The youth are our future and LEAD wants to invest in them now!

Cote d'Ivoire:  With the capture of President Gbagbo, the city of Abidjan is beginning to be restored to order, although occasional violence is still being reported. We thank God for the positive movement toward peace in the country and pray that people will be able to return to their homes soon.  In the meantime, Dea Lieu, our Affiliate manager, continues to await a kidney transplant in Iowa.  It looks like some prayers have been answered and they may be able to begin moving forward soon with the surgery.  In the meantime, we continue to pray for Dea and his family, as well as all the businesses in the Danane area whose lives have been so interrupted in this past year.

Renita, Fanny, and intern Tina Oh

Ghana:   Hopeline has completed the training for their 3rd batch of business owners and commissioned 22 more business owners as Marketplace Ministers.   They are now preparing to start again with a 4th batch on May 11.  Fourteen new mentoring relationships have been created, with the help of Tina Oh, our intern from Partners Worldwide.  And the SME business owners have started their own savings and loan groups to save and loan to themselves, while Hopeline builds capacity to meet loan demands.  We continue to work on capacity building by getting ready to begin a loan software training and shoring up loan policies and procedures.

Jeremiah Yongo

Nigeria:  We are thankful that the Jos area, which has experienced so many difficulties in this past year, has been spared the post-election violence that has been taken place further north.  We continue to pray for peace for the country and that the 40,000+ people who have had to flee from their homes can return soon.  The work in Nigeria has been proceeding well under the guidance of Jeremiah Yongo.  Jeremiah will be making a learning visit to Ghana and Liberia at the end of May to see what our other West African partners are doing and how we can learn from each other.  On our West Africa call last week, Jeremiah shared about the food grain banks that three different communities have begun, where farmers are gathering together to store their grain in a safe, dry place, to sell when the market isn't flooded and there is greater need.  This is an issue being faced in all of our partnerships and so the dialogue was lively and fruitful.

Birthdays:  I don't know about the rest of you, but the last half of April is a very busy birthday month for us.  Let me wish a few people "Happy Birthday".  I don't have pictures of everyone, but here are some.

Hannah Reed - turns 18 today, April 25!!!  As usual she wakes us all up at her birth time, 5:30 am, saying that no one should sleep through this very important moment:-).  I can't believe she is now legally an adult.

Dale and Janette VanderVeen - Dale, my brother-in-law, shares his birthday with Hannah today.

Keith and Lucille Mosher, Bob's mother and step-father.  Keith turned 88 years old on April 18.

My brother, Henry, celebrates his birthday this Saturday, April 30.  Marnie, his wife, is sitting next to him.

Rachel Bronsveld, my very first niece, turned 30 on April 22.  I was 12 years old, in the 8th grade, and remember that day clearly!
Adam Schenk, nephew, turns 20 on April 29.

Sister-in-law, Carolyn Reed, celebrated her birthday on April 23.

Sister-in-law, Patty Reed, celebrated her birthday on April 20.

My nephew, Peter.  He's the one with the big mouth.  On the left. Birthday on April 24. 

April 2011 Update

Weather:  With the anticipation of cooling temperatures and the rains beginning, we continue on with the current conditions of low-90s, feeling like low 100s with humidity staying pretty consistently at around 80%.  As I write this at 7 am on Saturday morning, it is 82F with a humidity of 84%, and it feels like 91F. 

West Africa Political Update:  The last few months have certainly deepened my appreciation for democracy - maybe that's true wherever you live while watching all of the revolutions, but living in Africa while country after country undergoes protests and fighting, and the ramifications of that turmoil affects neighboring countries, the appreciation begins to go very deep. In West Africa, with the countries as small as they are, it would be like Michigan having a civil war - all the neighboring states would be affected significantly and quickly.  Here is an update on the four countries with whom I work.

Cote d'Ivoire - we are truly thankful that with the arrest of former President Gbagbo, it appears that Cote d'Ivoire will begin its recovery.  There is much to do in the way of reconciliation and peace building, however, and that needs to be in continual prayer for healing to take place.  There are accusations of atrocities on both sides. UNHCR is reporting over 130,000 refugees have fled into Liberia from Cote d'Ivoire; over 1 million persons in Abidjan had to flee from their homes during the fighting.  All of this causes difficulties as it relates to water, food, shelter, and health.  [As an aside, the president of Burkina Faso just sacked his government because of protests due to rising costs of food prices.  The reason is that as a landlocked country, the turmoil in Cote d'Ivoire has affected them, as well as other landlocked countries, like Mali and Niger.]

Nigeria - One of the countries that falls in my portfolio is Nigeria - I haven't spoken much about it yet because they do pretty well on their own and haven't required a lot of time from me.  However, Jos continues to struggle for peace - it's been a year of on and off violence, which has caused significant disruptions in life and business there.  Additionally, Nigeria is currently undergoing elections and faces the test of democracy, with 70 million registered voters and 20 candidates.  The run up to the election has not been completely peaceful, with bomb blasts and assassinations.  It looks like Goodluck Jonathan will win, but if he doesn't, will he step aside or refuse to leave as other recent incumbent leaders have?

Liberia - This is election year in Liberia as well.  It's hard to believe that it was just six years ago that President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf won the election.  A number of candidates have thrown their hat in the ring, and President Sirleaf is also running for another six year term.  Liberia has enjoyed peace and significant development in the last six year - we hope and pray that this election will be fair and will allow this progress to continue for another six years.

Ghana - In the middle of all this turmoil, sits Ghana, peaceful and continuing to grow economically.  Next year is an election year.  There is a demand through ECOWAS (the Economic Community of West African States) for Ghana to continue to get involved in the turmoil around them by sending troops, mediating, and intervening, and they do get involved, but it is a continual drain on manpower, time, and money.

So we ask for your continual prayers for democracy, civil rights, wise and honest leaders in West Africa.  And if you are fortunate to live in a country that experiences free and fair elections, thank God for it!

Hannah's soccer team

Family Update:  Hannah and Noah have a late spring break this year, with the first day of Spring Break falling on Good Friday.  Directly after spring break, the seniors (all six of them) will be going on their senior trip.  The destination?  Rome, Italy.  No, that was not a typo.  They have been doing fundraisers all year and have raised enough to spend a week in Italy, visiting the Vatican, the Sistine Chapel, the Colosseum, Pompeii,  as well as working in a soup kitchen with the Sisters of Charity.  They then have school until the end of May, and then exams, so the end of the school year is in sight.  Noah and his friends, who have a slightly larger class of eleven, have started to dream about their senior trip and fun destinations.

Some of you have asked about the puppies - thanks in large part to Dusty and Jack's puppies, Hannah has raised enough money to pay for her portion of the senior trip.  The puppies have all gone to their new homes, much to the dismay of Noah.  But he is hoping for his own batches of puppies next year to help him with his senior trip!  Here is a very brief video of the cuties - they were all playing and fighting over a slipper (sorry, Mom!) but when I came out some of them decided to attack me instead.

Announcing the graduation of Hannah Reed

On Thursday, June 9, 2011, Hannah Reed will be graduating from the American International School of Accra.  Everyone is welcome to attend!  We will also be having two open houses for her to celebrate with friends and family who have been praying for her and encouraging her throughout her elementary and secondary schooling.  The first will be in Ghana, on Saturday, June 11 from 2-4 pm at our home, #8 Kose, East Legon.  The second will be on Saturday, June 18, 2011 from 2-4 pm at Hannah's Aunt Janette and Uncle Dale VanderVeen's home in Grand Rapids, MI.  

Below are some of her senior pictures as well as the official invite for the Open House in Grand Rapids.  

Please come and join us in thanking God for the blessing of education and for His provision for her over the years, starting at Oakdale Christian School, to Jefferson Elementary School, to homeschooling in Liberia, to Potters House Christian High, to the American International School of Accra, Ghana.

One Year

Thanks to so many of you for your messages and prayers in light of the marking of one year since Bob's passing.  It was a difficult week to pass, reliving with the benefit of hindsight now what we had no clue about last year.  The day was spent re-reading the painful journal of this past year, writing letters to Bob, preparing one of his favorite meals, keeping a candle lit all day in his memory, and watching family videos; 2:26 pm was spent in silence and in prayer.

I continue to feel like I am spent - having nothing left to give - and so I have decided to take a few weeks off from writing the blog and maintain some level of silence and quietness, in order to find my center again.  I trust that all of you will understand this.

Thank you for your faithful reading and support over this past year.    

A word from Bob on being my husband

As you know, Bob ("Yers Trooly") was the primary blog writer.  Every now and then, he would ask me for a contribution, particularly when he was tired or out of ideas of what to write.  Today, I am asking that of him.

Bob not only wrote for the blog, but for much of his life he kept a journal.  I have not read most of these journals, so it is a treasure now to have them.  Below is an excerpt I found from a silent retreat that he went on in 1999. A silent retreat is a time for reflection and in this excerpt, Bob is examining his priorities.  He doesn't mention his first priority in this excerpt (maybe I'll put it in a future blog - it's a good one), and you can see that God has begun the call on him to leave Calvin College.  This entry has great meaning for me and I share it because it may be an encouragement for others of you in your marriages.  As a marriage counselor, I'm assuming he won't mind.

[If you ever worked with Bob, you know that he ALWAYS used red, felt-tipped pens.  I can't tell you how many clothes were spoiled by these pens exploding, or entire laundry loads ruined by washing one of these.  But he loved these pens, hence the red font below.]

6:50 pm, CDT, Saturday, October 9, 1999

"I've called her to do good and great things and she needs you."

That's what I heard, sensed, said in His presence as the sun set next to an old cross on a hill.

Certainly some of my work, some portion of my place here is to support Renita in her work.  She has a remarkable combination of gifts and talents, and she's probably going to do wonderful things - she already has.

But she really seems to need me.

And thus another step back to the center falls into place.  In addition to ceasing my meandering and become a student of others who are centered, which was #1 a few pages ago - but before #2 which was regarding my future at Calvin - that has now been shoved to #3.

Revised #2

I need to be a more faithful husband.  I mean just this:  Renita needs me.  She needs more of me than I give her, and she'll take more and use it in her ministry.  She doesn't waste me.  I need to spend less time avoiding her good work out of my own lack of meaning and realize I've been given to her for a purpose.  She values what I have more than anyone in the world for a reason.  I am supposed to be her servant!  I have what she needs.  I sense she will do great things.  With or without me.  But without me I sense it will be very alone and painful and even scary.  With me I believe it could be fun for her.

Its always surprised me how just a little attention brightens her entire mood.  I now see why - she needs me.  I'm a critical element in God's plan to work through her.

I feel good to be needed.

Another insight into why I miss him so.  And you are right, my dear.  It is very alone, painful, and scary.  I do need you.  But your work is not finished - it continues in me.  You have have been a critical element in God's plan for me, and with God's help, I hope to continue to use what you have given me for the past nineteen years.

The Woodcutter's Wisdom

Okay, I admit it.  I’m depressed.  And exhausted.  Some of you have perceived it from thousands of miles away through my emails or through last week’s blog (which for some reason got 425 page views!  Normally a Monday gets around 75.  I have no clue what that was about.). 

March 20, 2011 marks the one year anniversary of Bob’s death, and while I knew it would be difficult, I didn’t expect that a cloudiness or fog would start descending more than a month in advance. 

I also did the math on these last six months – out of the 180 days, I traveled for 40 days to seven different countries and had 27 different guests in Ghana over various periods for a total of 60 days.  That’s 100 out of 180 days (100 out of 120 work days if you don’t count weekends), with many of the remaining days heavily involved in doing prep for the guests or the travel.  Not a lot of time for grieving, not to mention the rest of my regular work obligations.  When you go to the previous six months, five of those months were spent in intense shock and grief, with very little sleep.  I had about one month relief from that (mid-August to mid-September) before the busyness began. 

Am I complaining?  You bet I am.  Do I need to own my portion of this?  Unfortunately, yes.  My pastor has wisely preached over the years that busyness is not an excuse.  We need to own our schedules and take control of them.  I have depended on Bob for the last nineteen years to help with that.  I don’t do it well on my own and therefore have to own these last six months and what I have done to myself and my kids.  People can tell me to say no all they want; my excuse is that when you live in West Africa and you say no, there are sometimes devastating consequences.  I know that I am not God, but balancing my need for space while still loving my neighbor as myself is not an easy task nor is it clearly defined.

So for today’s blog, I want to share a fable that has had meaning for me when I feel despairing or like I can’t go on.  It helps me to keep perspective and not jump to conclusions too quickly. Maybe it will have meaning for some of you as well.

 Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village.  Although poor, he was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse.  Even the king coveted his treasure.  A horse like this had never been seen before - such was its splendor, its majesty, its strength. 

People offered fabulous prices for the steed, but the old man always refused.  "This horse is not a horse to me," he would tell them.  "It is a person.  How could you sell a person?  He is a friend, not a possession.  How could you sell a friend?"  The man was poor and the temptation was great.  But he never sold the horse.

One morning he found that the horse was not in the stable.  All the village came to see him.  "You old fool," they scoffed, "we told you that someone would steal your horse.  We warned you that you would be robbed.  You are so poor.  How could you ever hope to protect such a valuable animal?  It would have been better to have sold him.  You could have gotten whatever price you wanted.  No amount would have been too high.  Now the horse is gone, and you've been cursed with misfortune."

The old man responded, "Don't speak too quickly.  Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment.  If I've been cursed or not, how can you know?  How can you judge?"

The people contested, "Don't make us out to be fools!  We may not be philosophers, but great philosophy is not needed.  The simple fact that your horse is gone is a curse."

The old man spoke again, "All I know is that the stable is empty and the horse is gone.  The rest I don't know.  Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can't say.  All we can see is a fragment.  Who can say what will come next?"

The people in the village laughed.  They thought that the man was crazy.  They had always thought he was a fool; if he wasn't he would have sold the horse and lived off the money.  But instead, he was a poor woodcutter, an old man still cutting firewood and dragging it out of the forest and selling it.  He lived hand to mouth in the misery of poverty.  And now he had proven that he was, indeed, a fool.

After fifteen days, the horse returned.  He hadn't been stolen; he had run away into the forest.  Not only had he returned, he had brought a dozen wild horses with him.  Once again the village people gathered around the woodcutter and spoke.  "Old man, you were right and we were wrong.  What we thought was a curse was a blessing.  Please forgive us."

The man responded, "Once again, you go too far.  Say only that the horse is back.  State only that a dozen horses returned with him, but don't judge.  How do you know if this is a blessing or not?  You see only a fragment.  Unless you know the whole story, how can you judge?  You read only one page of a book.  Can you judge the whole book?  You read only one word of a phrase.  Can you understand the entire phrase?

"Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word.  All you have is a fragment!  Don't say that this is a blessing.  No one knows.  I am content with what I know.  I am not perturbed by what I don't."

"Maybe the old man is right," they said to one another.  So they said little.  But down deep, they knew he was wrong.  They knew it was a blessing.  Twelve wild horses had returned with one horse.  With a little bit of work, the animals could be broken and trained and sold for much money.  

The old man had a son, an only son.  The young man began to break the wild horses.  After a few days, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs.  Once again the villagers gathered around the old man and cast their judgments.  

"You were right," they said.  "You proved you were right.  The dozen horses were not a blessing.  They were a curse.  Your only son has broken his legs, and now in your old age you have no one to help you.  Now you are poorer than ever."

The old man spoke again.  "You people are obsessed with judging.  Don't go so far.  Say only that my son broke his legs.  Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse?  No one knows.  We only have a fragment.  Life comes in fragments."

It so happened that a few weeks later the country engaged in war against a neighboring country.  All the young men of the village were required to join the army.  Only the son of the old man was excluded, because he was injured.  Once again the people gathered around the old man, crying and screaming because their sons had been taken.  There was little chance they would return.  The enemy was strong and the war would be a losing struggle.  They would never see their sons again.

"You were right, old man," they wept. "God knows you were right.  This proves it.  Your son's accident was a blessing.  His legs may be broken, but at least he is with you.  Our sons are gone forever."

The old man spoke again.  "It is impossible to talk with you.  You always draw conclusions.  No one knows.  Say only this:  Your sons had to go to war and mine did not.  No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know.  Only God knows." 

[I'm not sure where it originated from or who to give credit to.  This version comes from Max Lucado who took it from someone in Portugal.]

Africa's Marketplace Revolution

Banner in front of Monrovia City Hall

Weather:  We have had two great rainstorms recently which were a pleasant surprise in hot February.  Temperatures continue to be in the low 90s during the day with humidity around 70%.

LEAD's 4th Conference - formerly a national conference, now an international conference with eight different countries represented, took place at the Monrovia City Hall on February 18-19, 2011.

Commissioning to be Marketplace Ministers

Our goal is to reclaim the already redeemed marketplace for the glory of God and the furthering of His Kingdom on this earth.  Three hundred business people gather to learn, to network, to debate, to dialogue, to question.  The place hums with conversation and greetings.  The business persons are commissioned to become Marketplace Ministers, pledging to view their business as a ministry, as a mission, with God as the owner.  Hands are raised, prayers are said, tears are shed.

Conference Registration

We are informed that the six of the ten fastest growing economies in the world are in Africa.  This is Africa's time!  We spend time talking about how to do agribusiness instead of subsistence farming; how to engage in food processing, the next step in the value chain; we debate business ethics; we ponder new topics like how to creatively deal with the refuse of food processing in a way that is beneficial, or the necessity of micro-insurance for small business owners.  Our speakers are from Liberia, Ghana, Kenya, Zimbabwe, Malawi, the US, and Canada.  In some ways it's a small picture of heaven.

One of the workshop sessions.

People have asked me how I thought the conference went.  It may be that I am pretty worn out and not able to be objective yet, but in hindsight, I wonder if maybe the title of the conference was used too loosely.  In light of the revolutions going on in so many countries these days, are we really ready for a revolution?  What does "Africa's Marketplace Revolution" really mean?

People are dying for a change in Egypt, Tunisia, Yemen, Libya.  Are we ready for that?

Behind the scenes at the conference, contracts that had been made with LEAD over the previous months to make the conference happen are continually broken - from the venue, to the speakers, to the hotels, to the caterer - broken words from government officials and business people alike.   Guests coming to Liberia complain about accommodations, food, and inconveniences.

Exhibit Tables where Ghanaians show their processing busines

In the afternoon on the first day of conference, we hear loud voices outside, as a demonstration takes place against Ghanaians due to some violence that has broken out at the Liberia Refuge camp in Ghana.  We have twenty Ghanaians inside at our conference who are now nervous about being in Liberia.  Arguments between Ghanaians and Liberians take place in the foyer as our conference continues behind closed doors.  We rush to put out one fire after another.  While we preach it, we are being tested in it.  Are we ready for a revolution?  Seriously?

It's exhausting to fight the system, the powers that be, people and their human nature, and bureaucracy.  It's much easier to give in, pay the bribe, forget about the broken word, write it off as "people trying to survive" or human nature.

I know what you may be thinking.  And yes, the conference really did go well.  It was exciting and there were beautiful moments of fresh dialogue and new relationships formed.  And I do have hope.

Mohamed Bouazizi, a 26 year old street vendor in Tunisia.

But a revolution?  Were those just words used in a hope for passion?

On the other hand, the whole revolution in northern Africa started in Tunisia with one man, a street vendor selling fruit, Mohamad Bouazizi.  His goods were confiscated as he endured the harassment and abuse of government officials.  He had just taken $200 US worth of credit to buy these goods and didn't have money to bribe the police.  Out of desperation and as an act of protest, he set himself on fire in front of a government building. 

Mr Bouazizi in the hospital before he died.

The conference is not the end of the story.  We pray that it is only the beginning.  As we see from our brothers and sisters in so many countries, a revolution is serious business.  We need the power of the Holy Spirit to take root.

Please pray with us.

Puppy update:  All dogs are doing well.  Noah is holding his favorite dog, whom he named "Moose".  Don't ask me why.

Their eyes are all open now and they are just beginning to be able to walk.