Bliss

Last week was a stressful week.  The announcement that I was leaving Partners Worldwide and going to a new organization and a new part of Africa became very real for me, as well as for people who know and care about me.  I spent three days in regional planning meetings following the announcement, which felt surreal at best.

Bob's tree

By the time Sunday came, I had reached my limit of stress and needed to get away.  So, I decided to go spend some time with a loved one who is so very missed at this time.  I drove up to Bliss, MI (near Mackinaw City - right by Wilderness State Park) to be with Bob - or at least his remains.  We planted a red maple tree where we buried his ashes, so I spread out my blanket and lay beside that tree for a couple of hours.  (At this point, it is still "beside" the tree instead of "under" as it's not that big yet!)

And we talked.  Well, I talked.  And talked.  He did what he is good at - he listened.  At least, the wind listened.  I miss his wisdom.  I miss his discernment.  I miss his decisiveness.  I miss his intensity.  I miss his faith.  I miss his faith in me.  I miss his intense brown eyes looking into mine - checking in with how I'm really doing.  I miss holding his hand while we drive.  I miss being in that part of the world with him.  I miss the proximity of having someone nearby to talk about the mundane and the important.  And there have been some pretty important things going on in my life lately.

My view from beside the tree.

Some people have asked me what Bob would think of the house....or about my decision to move to Kenya...or to go to a whole new organization.  I wish I knew.  I can guess.  I can only guess.  I think he would think that the house is plain and like a box...but that it has good potential.  He would have hated all the work that has to be done on the house.  He would have loved to live in Kenya.  He believed in me and my ability to make things happen so I think he would have been okay with the change, but I don't know what he would think about International Christian Ministries or the concept of working with a seminary.

One thing about Bob is that he believed in me and what God is doing in and through me.  And he also reminded me often that there was very few things in his life that he felt called by God to do - God just didn't speak to him that clearly.  But, once he decided to do something, he was to do it as if called by God. 

Sturgeon Bay - one of our favorite beaches.

And that is what I now need to do.  Time has moved on.  This week it will be 2.5 years since Bob's death.  Both kids are in college and on their own.  I decided to buy this house.  I decided to move to a new ministry with a new position.  And now I must trust that God will work out for good the decisions that this child made, following prayer and consultation.

It's Kitale, Kenya!

(title written in the style of our last move:  see www.reedsinliberia.blogspot.com)

Last week I referred to changes and mentioned that there would be a follow up with more changes in this week's blog post.  In addition to buying a home and moving, as well as adjusting to an empty nest, I decided to also change my employment and accept a position on the other side of Africa.  It's definitely a new day!

After much prayer and consultation, I have decided to formally leave Partners Worldwide at the end of this year and begin working with a ministry called International Christian Ministries (www.icmusa.org).   I will be living in Kitale, Kenya, close to the Uganda border, and will be teaching at the Africa Theological Seminary for portions of the year, and then out in the field for other portions of the year, helping churches begin Business as Mission (BAM) groups.

Having been with Partners Worldwide since 2005, this was not an easy decision.  As I had been mentioning in previous blogs, the last eight months have been a pretty intense soul searching and transitional time for me.  My time in Ghana ended in June - where was I to go next?  The ministry that we started in Ghana was a joint ministry with Bob and now I am alone; the kids are happily adjusting to Calvin College - what do I do?  

As I look back over the last year, I can begin to see how God has worked in and through these questions.  Since this blog is a bit like a journal for me, allow me to take some time to write out the highlights:

• During my silent retreat last summer (2011), I spent time with the passage from Ephesians 3:16-21.  The words "in the church" from verses 20-21 began to jump out at me:  "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever! Amen"  (emphasis mine).  I began thinking about the work that I was doing in light of the church.  We were teaching Business as Mission (BAM) and commissioning Marketplace Ministers to reclaim the marketplace for Christ, but what did we know about the actual effect on the church?  What were business people doing following the commissioning?  What type of on-going support and encouragement were they receiving?  Was Jesus getting the glory in the work that we were doing?   Was the church being built? We try to follow up with people, hear great stories, but it is difficult to get a real sense of impact on the church.
• Earlier this year, I began wondering about whether or not this idea of working with small and medium size entrepreneurs (SMEs) was having the "trickle down" effect that we were hoping for in terms job creation and fair wages, or whether the SMEs were increasing their profit for the owner's good.  How do we hold business owners accountable for what they are doing with their increased profit, which was a direct result of our training, mentoring, advocacy, and access to capital?  I remember talking to a colleague from East Africa and stating that this unknown made me want to go back to working with the poorest of the poor - the micro-entrepreneurs.  He reminded of what I already knew - that the SMEs are the foundation of the economy and that real change could best be affected through them.  He stated that what we needed to do was not abandon this group but try to figure out how to hold them accountable, disciple, and encourage them.  As I pondered that over the next few weeks, I realized that the only institution that would be able to do that naturally is the church.  
• In May, I attended a conference in Accra put on by ICM.  [I had been aware of ICM's work for several years, as Rev. Tutu (the head of ICM Ghana) had been commissioning our Marketplace Ministers for several years and was starting ICM in Liberia.]  The conference was called "Structuring for Excellence" and addressed organizational development as well as leadership development.  At the time, I had been considering various opportunities for service in different locations of the world, but nothing was really speaking to me.  I spoke briefly to Dr. Walker after the conference and the words that struck me were his encouragement for me to move toward my passion.  I went home considering those words and wondering about my passion.  Over the next few days, I refined what I was passionate about and I believe God began to reveal to me a new way of doing this work through the church.

Dr. Walker had encouraged me to stay in touch with him following the conference, as they were particularly interested in Business as Mission for the church leaders with whom they work.  Once conversation led to another, and they proposed that I begin to teach Business as Mission, as well as Community Development, at the Africa Theological Seminary (ATS), located in Kitale, Kenya.   They have other branches in Africa (Burundi, Tanzania, DRC) as well, but Kenya would be the best place to start.   

From their website:  ATS is a non-denominational, post-secondary institution of higher learning whose founders and staff are passionately and faithfully committed to train, equip, and empower Christian Leaders already involved in Ministry.  Therefore, ATS train leaders “in ministry” and not “for Ministry”! It is for this reason that all ATS study programs are designed on in-service model around Block Courses to allow our students to continue serving in their primary ministries as they pursue further studies. (http://www.atseminary.ac.ke/) 

The outline of this position would be that I would teach at the seminary for five weeks, and then go out on the field for three months to help roll out BAM groups in various churches.  I will want to continue to partner with Partners Worldwide in some way as I believe the Partners Worldwide model is excellent and can be especially dynamic within the context of a church, whose leaders embrace Marketplace Ministers as the foot soldiers for the church.  I will still be raising my own support with ICM but no longer for a whole region, so that will provide some fundraising relief.

I will be visiting Kitale during the last week of September and from there will go to West Africa for four weeks.  I will then wrap up my work with West Africa during November and December, and make the move to Kitale, Kenya in January.  I appreciate your prayers during these transition times!  I will keep you posted!

ICM exists to equip African Leaders to solve African problems with God's solutions.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!

Summer has flown by and so has my leave of absence.  Two months goes by amazingly quick, especially when you pack in visiting family, silent retreat, vacation, dedicated sabbatical time, and, oh yeah, buying a home that needs a ton of work!  I have been so blessed to have this time - time to take care of business with family, myself, with God, and with my kids.  I'm thankful to Partners Worldwide for allowing me to take this leave of absence, to the widow's group who helped me financially (as this time was unpaid and they recognized my need for this time), and for many of you who advised me and prayed for me before and during this time.   There were many changes that took place during these two months, some of which I will discuss this week, and some next week.

The "Before" picture

After...not quite done yet but getting there!

One of the major changes was buying a house.  Some of you  have asked me why I bought a house if I am going back to Africa.  The short answer is that it is time for us to have a permanent home again.  We moved three times in the last three months.  Noah said to me, "Mom, I can't remember a time when we didn't have to be out of a house by a certain date."  The longer answer also includes the fact that both Hannah and Noah are at Calvin, and need a home during Thanksgiving break, Christmas break, Spring break, the summer, and other holidays.  While my sister and brother-in-law have been gracious in opening up their home time and again, it's time for us to have our own space, especially with two Reeds in GR.  Both Hannah and Noah will also have the option to live at home (off-campus) beginning their junior year, which will save them money.  Not to mention the fact that everyone has been telling me that this is the time to buy - despite the fact that it needs a lot of work, we got a good deal on this house (of course, I hear Bob saying, "You get what you pay for:-).  Although when I first bought it, I was focused on it being a home only for the next few years while the kids are in college, that perspective has changed as the house has become a home.  In fact, Hannah said the other day, "Mom, can we stop referring to this house as a temporary home for the next few years and keep it permanently?"  We all need and want a home base.  And when all the work is done, I believe it will be a great home.  (If you look closely, you will see new windows, siding, new driveway, fencing, door and stoop...and that is just the outside!)

Noah being Batman on a jetski!

Another major change has been the empty nest - which, to be honest, just happened a few days ago, and I'm still processing it.  While it's true that being apart is not foreign to us because of our traveling, it's very different when the separation is more permanent.  For me, the idea of not having someone to talk to at the end of the day, or to look forward to seeing in the short-term, definitely takes an adjustment.  I believe that God has been preparing me for this loneliness over the past couple of years, but it doesn't change the impact of the new reality.  [Side note:  Contrary to some people's beliefs, I am not in Grand Rapids to settle down and find a new husband:-).  In fact, I still consider myself married and have NO desire to get into a relationship.  So for those of you who are lovingly praying for me to find a new spouse or subtly introducing me to single persons, please know that this is not on my radar at all.  I would love to write more on this at some time, in terms of the decision making process for this, but that is not for this blog entry.  I will be heading back to Africa permanently again in January.]

Noah giving character awards to camp kids.

Noah is very ready for college and had an amazing summer, working for the Spring Hill Day camp.  They do an excellent job, not only with the youth, but also in developing their counselors as Christian leaders.  He loved the experience and may want to do it again next year, despite the low pay

Hannah helping Noah in his dorm.

Hannah has also moved back into Calvin as she is serving as a "Barnabas" on her floor (something like the floor chaplain).  Both Hannah and Noah are in Noordewier-VanderWerp, where Bob used to be the Resident Director.  Hannah has promised to keep an eye on her little brother.

On Tuesday, I head back to work at Partners Worldwide.  I need to quickly catch up on two months of missed work and then in three short weeks (September 24), I will be leaving for Africa for five weeks, to visit five countries:  Kenya, Ghana, Nigeria, Côte d'Ivoire, and Liberia.  I will be back at the beginning of November, probably accompanied by a number of my West African colleagues who will be traveling to Chicago for the Partners Worldwide conference on November 8 and 9.  

More updates next week!

Sabbatical

Today marks the beginning of my two month leave of absence, which I am calling a sabbatical.  Some of you may be wondering what a sabbatical is; others of you may be wondering why I am taking one.  In the last few months, I have pondered both of those questions myself, as I prepared for this time.  Allow me to share some of my thoughts and findings.

 

The word sabbatical has, at its root, the word sabbath, meaning "cease."  We often think of Sabbath as meaning rest, but my pastor explained it to me that it literally means cease - to stop.  One of the ten commandments given to us is to "remember the sabbath by keeping it holy, six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh is a sabbath to the Lord your God...on it you shall not do any work...for in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them but he rested on the seventh day.  Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy (Exodus 20:8-11).  In Leviticus, we are told that the land is to also have a sabbath of rest, every seven years, for a whole year.., so that it can lie fallow and replenish (Leviticus 25: 2-4)

A sabbatical is a time for rest, renewal, and new hope.  A time to stop what you normally do - to stop the normal routine.  It should help us to step off the treadmill long enough to change old habits.  It is a time to lie fallow, a time to receive rather than give, to get input rather than give output, to carefully nurture and cultivate our lives.  It should nourish the soul and rebuild the body.  It is a time to relearn and rehearse the critical capacity to reflect.  A sabbatical is about a pilgrimage with Jesus toward God.  The heart of the sabbatical is time and space for renewal.  A sabbatical is typically recommended to be three-six months.


About a year ago, someone gave me an article on the alarming growth of burn out among pastors and missionaries.  This article acknowledged that churches give both time and funding for sabbaticals for pastors, while mission agencies do not yet provide in the same way.  One missionary organization who is starting to look at providing sabbaticals for their missionaries, says this, 

Missionaries continually face heavy responsibilities and the stressful weight of local and world conditions. Their temptation is to “suck it up” by drawing upon emotional and spiritual reserves with no regular spiritual practices to replenish those reserves.  The result: depleted souls, physical and emotional exhaustion, and often burnout!

Another organization conducted a survey and reported that only 26% of missionaries view their relationship with God as one of their top strengths.  I have felt the drain of my reserves over the years, and specifically in the last two years, since Bob's death.  I need my top strength to be my relationship with God, as with Him I can do all things - without Him, I can do nothing.

So, after seven years of being in West Africa, I am declaring these two months to be my sabbatical - an intentional time of receiving input, lying fallow, and reflecting.  I plan to go on a silent retreat, read a lot of books that will spur reflection, meet with some people who have mentored me over the years, spend time in nature, and write.

Not all of my time will be in Sabbatical mode though.  The other result of being on the field is having to be away from family for many occasions and challenges.  So I will be spending time with Bob's parents, who have had some serious medical challenges in this past year; as well as with my parents - my father is in a nursing home and I've only been able to see him once in the past three years.  I look forward to spending some quality time with them and make up for some lost time.

Making the decision to take a Sabbatical was not easy.  I am very thankful to a group of praying partners who recommended that I do this.  Their encouragement was that this is not only necessary for Renita, but also for the future of any work that God will call me to. On Sunday night I met with this faithful group of prayer partners and advisers who helped me to "kick off" this time and they will hold me accountable to make sure that I use my time wisely.  They have already helped me to course correct in some ways and reminded me of the need to cease, to listen, and to be patient.  I am truly thankful for their input, wisdom, and prayers.

 “I have come to think that the recovery of the Sabbath is the most crucial and most demanding covenant command (spiritual discipline) now to be faced in the technological society.”  Walter Brueggemann.

Part of my sabbatical will also be from this blog and other technology.  So I am signing off and ceasing the blog for two months - over and out until September!

Summer 2012 Update

It's been a busy few weeks since arriving back in the US.  Noah has been in Indiana working at several different day camps with Spring Hill.  I haven't heard much from him, as he is working 12 hour days and is pretty exhausted.  But he is telling me that "God is good," so I believe he is doing well.  Last Saturday, Hannah and I moved to the house where we will be living for the next two months, graciously lent to us by Scott and Linda Naranjo-Huebl.  We stayed here last summer as well, so in some ways it felt like "coming home."  Hannah finished the summer class she was taking at Calvin, in biology, and is now working fulltime at the Calvin Library.  She really enjoys that work, as she is able to listen to audiobooks while she is doing book-binding and other similar tasks, so she is also getting a lot of "reading" (or listening) in.  She is really into Jane Austin and Charlotte Bronte, and loves to talk about the characters, which is fun for me.

Yesterday I was able to visit the Vermeers in Chicago and finally was able to meet Sahil!

As for me, I am trying to get ready for a two month leave of absence from Partners Worldwide.  [There seems to be some confusion about what I am doing at this point, so let me take a few sentences here to clarify:  Essentially, I am viewing these seven months home as home service - something that missionaries typically do after three years on the field.  It gives time to regroup, fund raise, meet with partners churches, donors, family, and friends.  After December, I hope and plan to return to Africa.  Where in Africa is, as of yet, unknown.  And exactly what I will be doing is yet a work in progress, but it will be similar to what I have been doing, although I believe more focused on the church.  God has been revealing a vision of a new program and I hope to spend my leave exploring that further, as well as exploring how and where to roll that out.]

Since there is no-one really stepping in during my two months to take my place, I'm trying to get as much done as I can ahead of time.  Unfortunately, my list is growing longer rather than shorter and I'm starting to compromise on certain aspects of my leave, but I'm trying to make it a clean break.  There are a number of important initiatives that will be taking place during those two months:

Liberia

Todd DeKryger (left) and Malcolm DeKryger (right)

• will be receiving a volunteer CPA/IT consultant for four weeks (from July 17-August 19) to work with the management team at LEAD and help to build capacity; 
• LEAD's capital project campaign for their new office building continues - we are at $195,000 out of the $250,000 needed - almost there!
• Partners Worldwide has approved a new position of a partnership manager for Liberia, to help with some of the work there, so we will be posting that position in the next week or so and collecting resumes while I am on leave
• The LEAD research farm is continuing to grow - we recently had 14 piglets added to the farm; the staff were trained in grasscutter farming (groundhogs) and hope to start that soon; we hope to build a field school at the farm soon, to be able to train farmers right on site - that campaign will kick off in July (more details soon:-); we also hope to start our palm kernel processing at the farm in order to support the feed needs of the pigs
• A new partner with the work of pigs is Malcolm DeKryger from DeMotte Indiana, who oversees multiple farms with a total of 300,000 hogs.  I had a chance to see it and it was pretty amazing.  He is planning a trip to Liberia in October with his brother Todd, who is the Integrated Pest Management specialist who visited Liberia last November.  We are excited about these new subject matter experts who are joining our work! 

Ghana

• It looks very likely that Hopeline Institute will be approved for a significant amount of loan funds for the middle market initiative through Partners Worldwide to give loans to their stronger SMEs.  As our approach with businesses is through four strategic components (training, mentoring, access to capital, and advocacy), the access to capital component has been the weakest for this partnership, so we are very thankful that these businesses will now be able to increase their capacity through loans.
• Emerging Entrepreneurs - Hopeline Institute has identified a gap for business owners who want to expand their micro-business (often a business run to put food on the table) to the SME level (a serious business that seeks to grow and expand), and have started a program to try to bridge that gap.  They are calling it “Emerging Entrepreneurs” and have tailored their training to fit this group, as well as working with current SMEs to mentor these emerging entrepreneurs.
• Prayer partners – We have had an exciting report from our partner affiliate in Canada, who has been working to find prayer partners for every business owner that is going through training with Hopeline.  These prayer partners pray along with each lesson that the business owner is receiving and communicate directly with the business owner for prayer requests via email.  We have begun to hear some pretty amazing stories of blessings emerging from these prayer partners, on both sides of the ocean!  And some of these prayer partners are beginning to be mentors for the business owners in Ghana.

Côte d'Ivoire

• Dea has returned back to his home after a 21 month unexpected absence.  He is rejoicing to be back in his homeland, with his wife and children, and praising God for his life and health.  For more info, please go to his Caring Bridge website:  http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/dealieu
•  Dea now begins the work of reorganizing the organization that he leads in Danané (called ACLCP) after his extended absence.  Loans have continued to go out to members in his absence but there have not been any trainings.  The political violence that occurred in his absence also had an impact on the ministry and the area, so there is some important work to be done.

Nigeria

• Jos continues to be troubled by unrest and violence.  We continue to pray for peace there and for wisdom on the part of the leadership who are working for peace with the Boko Haram
• The work of Water Wins and PCEN (the two affiliates in Nigeria) continue to go well, with business trainings, wells being drilled, and community development.  We continue to pray for Jeremiah Yongo, as he negotiates this work in an area of great stress, where peace is measured in days.

So lots of stuff going on - good stuff...stuff that will be difficult to leave for two months, yet it is important for me to do so.  I'll write more on that in an upcoming blog.  For now, thanks for reading and caring!  

A week in the life of Noah

Noah has had quite a week.  On Monday night, he returned from a great trip to Barcelona, Spain.  On Tuesday, we had his graduation party with all the seniors and parents.  On Thursday morning, there was the award ceremony at AIS and on Thursday afternoon, he graduated.  On Friday, we left Ghana, arriving home on Saturday evening.  On Sunday, we had his open house, and on Monday, he started his new job with Spring Hill Camp.  Quite a week for this young man!

At his graduation, Noah was the salutatorian, as he ranked second in the class.  If you would like to hear his speech, click below.  I thought he did a great job. 

Noah doesn't know when or if he will return to Africa.  He left Grand Rapids at the age of ten and now returns to the US at the age of seventeen. It will be a transition in his mind to think that he is staying in the US indefinitely but he has enough going on that he will be kept busy during this transition. 

Here are some pictures from his trip to Spain and his graduation.  And also attached is the slide show that I put together of his life so far, set to the song Power of a Moment, by Chris Rice.  One thing that Noah knows how to do is enjoy the moment - he did not inherit his mother's tendency of always thinking, "What next", but rather his father's ability to enjoy the present.  I believe these pictures capture that ability, not to mention his love of the moment.  Enjoy!

Sagrata Familia in Barcelona:  This will be one of the largest churches in the world when it is completed.  It was begun in the mid 1800s and is not expected to be completed until 2050. 

The students were involved in a service project while in Spain.  Noah was doing yard work...and apparently acting up:-).

Before the graduation....looking cool and feeling cool!

The graduating class - eight students, seven different nationalities:  Ghana, Japan, South Korea, Benin, South Africa, Ethiopia, and the US.

Fare thee well

The time has come for us to depart Accra.  Our plane leaves on Friday night and we arrive in Grand Rapids on Saturday afternoon. It's a busy time of trying to finish up some work (that I wish I had a few more months for), packing, cleaning, shutting off bills, getting the dog neutered so that someone will take them, Noah's graduation, awards ceremony, and graduation party, and other crazy details.

And of course, the saying goodbyes.  This is somewhat complicated as I will continue to be working with Hopeline Institute, and will be back in September and December for visits, but it is a goodbye of sorts in terms of my living here.

On Thursday, I had a scheduled meeting with Fanny, the Executive Director of Hopeline, to wrap up a number of details that we still had to attend to, but suddenly after about 20 minutes, she wanted us to go down to the training center to pick up some materials.  I went along and Fanny was talking non-stop the whole time (I later realized is was so that I couldn't interject any questions).  When we pulled up there were a number of cars and I asked if there was a training or meeting going on, not knowing at all that they had a surprise party planned for me!  It was an overwhelming experience with many, many kind words spoken.  As I reflected on my time in Ghana, I have to admit, that I do it with a sense of regret, as I know that I was not at my best for most of my time here.  So, if anything good came out of it, all praise goes to God and to the people who took the little I had to give and ran with it.  Here are some pictures from that time together and some of my treasured friends and colleagues.

Everyone getting a good laugh at my complete surprise.

The Hopeline Staff performed a dance to the song, "Thank You" by Ray Boltz, with the words, "Thank you for giving to the Lord, I am a life that was changed."  If you know the song, you know it is very touching and tears flowed the entire time for me.  To have such dear friends and colleagues perform it, picturing them in Heaven, made it even sweeter. 

They gathered around to send me out with prayer, with my dear friend, Rev. Philip Tutu, leading the prayer time.

We gathered for another picture on the steps of the training center, where six batches of Marketplace Ministers have gathered for pictures over the last two years, and Lord willing, many more in the future.

Pastor William Darko, a mushroom and duck farmer, who I am mentoring.  Thankfully he doesn't need my help in duck or mushroom farming (rather he is teaching me about that) but I am privileged to work with him on his financials. 

Over the years, there are some business people that you grow closer to than others, and some take a special place in your heart.  Auntie Selasie (as I call her) is one of those persons and I hope to see her in November at the Partners Worldwide conference in Chicago.

The couple who helped significantly with my stay in Ghana.  They were welcoming, helpful, open, loving, God-fearing, and hard-working:  Dennis and Fanny Atta-Peters.

A picture of our interns, Emily Daher and Kim VandenAkker, who I leave behind, but who are both doing great in Ghana. 

And last but not least, my dear Juliet, Office Manager at Hopeline Institute, whose love and good work will continue to bless many others.  She is the one responsible for the poster in the background.

One thing to note about that poster - I believe the "you" is plural.  The work that I do is not my own.  First I represent Christ and the Church, then Partners Worldwide, and through Partners, so many churches, individuals, friends, and family members.  I could not have been here working without the faithful support of so many of you.  I wish you could have heard the testimonies given as well as witnessed that beautiful song being performed because you all truly share in that.   So, thank you for giving to the Lord - we appreciate you!  [If you don't know this song, please go here to listen.]

[Reminder:  If you are in the Grand Rapids area, please stop in at 2135 Francis Ave SE, next Sunday, June 3 between 2-5 pm, to celebrate Noah's graduation with us.]

Is it worth the weight?

When Andy DeJong gave our wedding message in 1990, his recurring phrase was, "Was it worth the wait?"  At the time that irritated me a little, as it was clearly directed to Bob, who was 35 years old, but I was only 21 and had not waited that long!  However, that phrase has now come back to me but with a different spelling.

Bob usually left the packing to me:-)

I am beginning the packing process.  When we leave, Noah and I will each get to carry two 50 lb. suitcases of our household belongings, for a total of 200 lbs.  When we moved here, we had four of us, and because we were frequent flyers with Delta, we each were able to take three 50 lb. suitcases, for a total of 600 lbs.  For our tip back in June, we were able to get a better price on a different carrier, not Delta, so we will only be able to carry two bags each.

Leaving for Liberia in 2005

So I am beginning the "is it worth the weight" debate as I consider the many and various items in our house.  Clothing is heavier than you might think.  Add to that books? Pictures?  Electronics?  Files?  Receipts?  Favorite beddings, towels, kitchen items?  Gifts received in-country - especially unique carvings that are heavy?  But where the weight debate really gets weighty is in making decisions regarding things about Bob.  I have finally been able to give his clothes away, except for a few favorite items.  But as I sort through the contents of a drawer or closet, I find more things that remind me of his life in this house:

• his doodles and drawings and comments and notes in countless journals and papers - in many ways he was such an artist...these will certainly add up in terms of weight...Is it worth it?  The alternative would be the trash - seems harsh.
• a glass 9 x 13 baking dish that has gone from Prospect Street to Liberia to Ghana.  This was a debate item for us because I knew that we could purchase that item in-country AND there was the risk of it breaking , but Bob loved that baking dish, and so it made the journey.  It is sad to think that the glass dish outlived Bob.  But now, is it worth the weight?
• a box of pens that has only three of his red felt tip pens left in it.  Again, not much weight but an open box of pens from someone who loved writing and was so good at it...is it worth the weight?
• cords upon cords that I have no idea where they go to or what they were from...no sentimental value here but I would love to ask him what they go to...I also fear getting back to the US, having Noah ask where the cord is for this or that, and I realize that I trashed it.
• an almost empty perfume bottle that Bob gave me
• passport pictures of Bob - again, not much weight but since the alternative is trash, do I really throw those away?

Of course, the most painful thing is that I am about to leave the last place that Bob lived.  Never again will I experience the simultaneous joy and pain of opening a drawer and finding something from him.  Never again will his imprint be on the things that make a home a home.  Even if I took a lot of these pieces back and scattered them around a new home, I would know that they were place by me and not him.  And so, it's like losing him again, with each decision I make of suitcase versus trash. 

One of our favorite movies is the Shawshank Redemption.  At one point in the movie, the main character utters the haunting phrase, "Get busy living, or get busy dying."   The idea behind this quote is that we can spend our time looking backward or looking forward.  I need to get busy living and I am determined to do so.  But the next few weeks may involve dying just a little.

May 2012 Updates

It's time again for updates from the Reed Family:

Noah's graduating class

Noah is graduating from high school in just three weeks!  Prior to his graduation, he will be going on his senior trip to Barcelona, Spain for six days.  Noah's trip, in large part, was sponsored by our dogs, Jack and Dusty, who faithfully contributed puppies that were sold, as well as through candy sales donated by relatives and friends.  I'm sure they will have a great time on their trip.

Another shot from the graduating class

Noah graduates on May 31st, and the very next day we get on a plane to head back to Grand Rapids, arriving on Saturday afternoon.  On Sunday we will have his open house. [You are invited - see invite below!]  Noah starts work with Spring Hill Camp on Monday, June 4, so there is no time to lose!  It will be quite a full and exciting few weeks for him.  On the left is a picture of the graduating class - quite a diverse group of fun young adults!

Hannah is finishing her freshman year at Calvin and is looking forward to taking a summer class as well as continue working at the Calvin library full-time over the summer.  She is hoping to get some time off for vacation at the end of the summer but in the meantime is keeping her nose to the grindstone.  Thankfully, some of her friends live in Grand Rapids so she will be able to continue to hang out with them during her off time.  We will have the not-at-all-unique challenge of having one car with three working individuals, all working in different places!  I'm sure the Rapid will come in handy.  She is also volunteering at Bethany Christian Services and was given the dress she is wearing in this picture by family with whom she is working.

 As for me, I have decided to come back to the States to continue in my same position as West African Regional Facilitator with Partners Worldwide until December of this year.  It has been quite a process over the past few months to reach that decision, but through prayer and consultations, I think it is the best decision.  During this time, I will be praying about my next field placement.  I will be taking an unpaid sabbatical during the months of July and August in order to have a silent retreat, spend some time with my parents as well as Bob's parents, focus on being a parent, and try to figure out this next phase of my life.  My father has been in a nursing home in Canada for the past nineteen months and I have only been able to see him once.  Bob's step-father, in Lake City, has been seriously ill for the past six months and needs help getting to dialysis three times per week.  It will be good to spend time with them and help out where I can.  From September - December, I will be both at the central office in Grand Rapids, as well as back on the field, continuing the work of our partnerships in West Africa. 

And now in other news...

The trial of Charles Taylor, which began in 2007, finally came to a close as he was found guilty of eleven counts of war crimes and crimes against humanity during the civil war of Sierra Leone.  These war crimes include murder, rape, mutilation, sexual slavery, and the conscripting child soldiers.  While this conviction brought relief in Sierra Leone, it did cause some strife among Taylor supporters yet in Liberia.  It has gained some world attention as Charles Taylor is the first former president to be found guilty by a modern international tribunal.  He will be sentenced on May 30 and it appears that the prosecution will be looking for an 80 year sentence.  The 64 year old Taylor will serve his sentence in the UK, and, of course, it is expected that his defense team will appeal.

What was very interesting was that during the two hour reading of the verdict, a rainbow appeared around the sun in Liberia for about an hour, which caused quite a stir.  According to the news, this same rainbow around the sun occurred when Taylor was extradited from Nigeria to Liberia in 2006 before being charged with the war crimes.  We were in Liberia at that time and I don't remember that, but many are viewing this as a sign of blessing from God. 

Ghana has become the first African country to pioneer two vaccines of the most deadly infant diseases:  rotavirus, which causes diarrhea, and pneumococcal, both of which kill 2.7 million children worldwide each year.  Ghana continues to do well on the Millennium Development Goals and these vaccines will help in cutting child mortality by 2/3rds by year 2015.

In work news, the fiscal year for Partners Worldwide is coming to an end, so all of us are busy looking back at how we did on our plans for the past year, and looking forward to what we hope to accomplish in the new year.  It is always an exciting time to take a step back and look at the big picture to see the effects of our efforts.  It's also fun to look ahead and imagine what we would like things to look like a year from now.  To seen a Reed update letter, as well as a story from one of our businesses in Ghana, please click here.

Becoming African...

Weather:  The rainy season has arrived!!  I love the rain. During the rain, the temperatures can drop to the mid-70s - downright cold!  Unfortunately, after a few hours it gets pretty steamy as temps climb up again to the mid-80s or 90s.  But a nice change of pace!

The countdown is now on for when we leave Ghana - just about one month left.  As we prepare to leave, after living in West Africa for seven years, Noah and I have been having discussions about if there are parts of us that are now more African than American.  After reflecting on that a bit, I thought I'd share of my own reflections/changes.  Some are obvious, others not so much.  Some people have called me African-American...but I think American-African might be more appropriate:-).

Some of the changes are:

Football - Most of the world understands football to be what Americans call soccer.  Most of the rest of the world is in love with soccer, yet Americans continue to be in love with football.  Some West African friends have told us that American football should be called handball - they don't understand why it is called football.  I have grown to love this sport - the amazing talent in the footwork that you see on the field is akin to a dance of sorts.  The skill, talent, and energy for this sport is immense and impressive.  So I definitely prefer this game of football to American football.  Additionally, just as in the US, watching this sport is a community activity.  The difference here is that since many people gather together to watch/listen to it around shared televisions or radios.  And since most of us have year-round open windows, we hear celebrations all around us when there is a goal.  For example, during one game, there was a penalty kick-off, and our coverage was about two seconds behind the coverage that our neighbors were getting, so just as the person kicked, we knew he had scored!  I will miss the constant access to football. 

Protocol/Formality - They say that the American culture is one of the least formal in the world.  West African culture is definitely more formal.  There are processes and procedures that must be observed when communicating.  While it definitely took time to learn, and I'm sure I still make mistakes, I have grown to appreciate the formality and procedure.  In fact, it is now frustrating to me when working with Americans when protocol is not observed - I have to catch myself to remember that it is not part of the US culture.

Food - spicy and ricey.  I have grown to love my food spicy - all of it (except for sweets of course).  I even put hot pepper on popcorn.  My kids are amazed if I ever say that something tastes hot to me, as I usually eat my food very spicy.  When I go back to the states, I have to find a way to spice it up or it tastes bland.  Maybe I need to start carrying hot sauce in my purse.  Also, I have become very accustomed to having rice every day.  I'm not to the point yet, like Liberians, who say that if you haven't had rice, you haven't eaten that day.  I can go a day without it, but it has become a staple. 

Respect for elders - While respecting elders is important in Liberia, Ghana carries it to a whole new level.  Respect for elders does not mean respect for those who are elderly (or over the age of 65), but respect for anyone who is older for you.  That means, when I arrive at a place and get out of my car with my computer bag or other items, someone younger than me will rush to carry it in for me.  [Several American guests have been alarmed at someone rushing out to take their bags from them - off their shoulder, out of their hands, without any explanation:-).]  At first I thought it was because I was American or a woman, but then I came to realize that it is done for everyone.  I remember arriving at a place where a woman, seven months pregnant, and about ten years younger than me, rushed out to take my bags.  When I told her there was no way I was giving her my bags (she's a friend and colleague so I could be direct), she laughed and told me that she must help her elders!  The down side of this is that if one is a manager of a business and you have employees who are older than you, you cannot correct them.  That is why when you read in a business plan that employees will be 46 years old or younger, for example, it is because the owner is 46 and he or she can't hire someone older than them!

Appreciation for the lack of separation of church and state  - I love the increased tolerance for religion that I have experienced in West Africa.  Meetings will start and end in prayer, regardless of whether it is a government meeting or community meeting.  I don't have to worry about being a Christian or offending anyone when talking about my faith.  I know that is not the case in all parts of West Africa, of course, but for the most part I have experienced this in both Ghana and Liberia.  Our work has been with both Muslims and Christians, and there has been a pretty open dialogue and acceptance of differences.  I know that doesn't make the news very much, but I'm thankful that it has been my experience here. 

Global news - I love that I live in much more of a global world while in West Africa than what I experience it the US.  I have access to BBC all the time here and all of the news is much more comprehensive to what is happening around the world.  One thing that I find so difficult is to listen to the news while in the US - 90% of it seems to be about the US and much of it is focused on celebrities or one particular crime.

Individualism versus Community Minded - By far and away, one of the major differences between North Americans and West Africans is the mindset toward the community.  North Americans tend to be individualistic - my goals, my dreams, my job, my kids, my possessions, my income.  West Africans tend to view things from the community perspective, balancing their own wants and needs in terms of what is best for the immediate family, extended family, church, and community.  I have seen the pros and the cons of both ways - there are things that are both healthy and unhealthy about both ways.  So I've learned to switch between these depending on the setting that I find myself in.

Time - I believe that I have managed to hold on to my own sense of time, while becoming much more relaxed about other people's sense of time, at least for Africans.  I no longer arrive early for meetings but usually right when the meeting is about to start.  But I have learned that it is appropriate to not be so focused on time as to pass people without greeting them, to start a meeting without finding out how people are doing, to ask about their families, etc.  This also relates to a warm culture versus a cold culture - it takes more time to be in a warm culture as it is more relational. 

Spirituality - West Africans tend to be much more spiritual than North Americans, seeing the work of spirits in many areas:  sickness, success, failure, death, and many other areas.  North Americans tend to undermine the role of any spirits in these things, looking to science for the answers.  I have come to appreciate this heightened sense of spirituality; growing up we did not spend much time being aware of demonic activity, yet Jesus spends much of his time casting out demons.  While I don't agree with the extent that this reaches (i.e. sickness or death as a result of curses or witches instead of malaria or sanitation issues, activity of deceased ancestors in daily life, etc.), I do appreciate their understanding that "our struggle is not against flesh and blood but... against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (Ephesians 6:12)

I think in conclusion, that I remain more American than African.  Probably not a surprise as I spent so much more time in the US than in Africa...not to mention that even while living in West Africa, I tended to still live as an American.  However, my preferences in many areas have changed, and of course, I have changed.