Afeerah, receiving her certificate after our training. |
Afeerah's husband died of a kidney disease on August 8, while I was in the States, and I went to visit her to extend my condolences. I know that to be a widow in Ghana is difficult as there are many cultural widow rituals that one must go through (I wrote about that shortly after Bob died - if you want to refresh your memory click here). Additionally, Afeerah is also a Muslim, which has its own customs for widows.
Sitting on her mat in her house. Note the comfy couch behind her. |
To add insult to injury, her husband's family came to tell her that she had no rights to the family home. Additionally, they wanted to carry her to the Volta region, where she would have to undergo some other widow rituals, which would probably conclude in her being found guilty for her husband's death, thereby ending any rights to property or children (Afeerah has three sons and two adopted daughters). Afeerah refused to go. [She said that the training we gave at Hopeline taught her to stand up for herself - maybe she was just being kind, but one of the classes we teach is on boundaries and how to say "no".] She thinks that even though she refused to go, this issue will not go away. She will have to go to court with them, but what they don't know is that a wise person told her husband to legally register their marriage after their wedding (something that is not often done in traditional marriages) and so she has the papers she needs to claim the legal rights to the property.
Prior to going to Afeerah's house, I met a woman in our new SME class, whose name is Nana. In the process of all the business owners sharing about their business, Nana informed the class that she had taken on her husband's business after his passing away this past January. After class, I sought her out and spoke with her for a while. She informed me that she is 32 years old - her husband was 42 - and they have five children. The oldest is 13 years old, the youngest is two years old. Her husband's family is not helping her at all - she said that she is a Jehovah's Witness and it is her church that has been a help to her. She is trained as a nursery teacher and could go back to that, but the pay is very low for supporting five children, so she is trying to pick up from what her husband was doing (marketing, farming, and exporting). Unfortunately, her husband had received an investment of $20,000 US from a Ghanaian-American who wanted to partner with him in his business. Since her husband's death, there was corruption and stealing by family members and the business has suffered greatly. She is left with this large burden in addition to putting food on the table each day for six. She is hoping our class will help her learn how to run the business.
This is why I need to live in Africa. When I begin to feel sorry for myself, I think of Afeerah or Nana. Perspective is everything. I thank God for the work of Hopeline Institute and Partners Worldwide, where we get a chance to reach these widows, to help them through training, mentoring, and access to capital, to develop a sustainable income to provide for their family, to be the hands and feet of Jesus to them, and pray with and for them. We need to continue to pray for the customs and the rights of widows in this country to be changed.
[*Names have been changed and pictures blurred to protect the identity of the women featured in this story.]
2 comments:
Renita -
Thank you so much for your faithfulness to keep us all connected to the dear people whom you serve.
I knew that cultural rules informed people about how they should express their distress. I have often thought how in my work diagnostic labels for emotional disturbances reflect our culture.
However I was naive about the injustice that rituals, like the widow rituals, impose upon the innocent survivors and how poorly women are treated. Thank you for opening this window of understanding to us.
- Joe Rodriguez
Renita,
Once again you provide a much needed perspective to my life. My heart aches for those women. Thanks again for the work you are doing there!
Much love,
Stacia
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